I can’t pinpoint the moment when I started to lose my SELF, but I can tell you when I realized it.

2020

I’m sure we can all agree that this was a shit time. Overnight I lost my job, was told I would die if I left the house, rightfully forced to face the severe injustices of racism and classism in our country while trying to stay sane in a house with two 3 year-olds.

Everything got smaller - my dreams, my hopes, my mindset – and I shut down…for an entire year.

When I started coming up for air, I realized that I needed to decide what next. The world was different, I was different, and I had to start figuring out who this new version of Jamie was.

I’d spent a year in survival mode, so reconnecting to my SELF wasn’t the easiest thing to do. In fact, I had to hack my way into it.

I thought about life before: When was I the happy? How was I happy? Why was I happy?

When I began going back to these times and places in my mind, the things that mattered most to me became clear.

Being of service, acting with confidence, feeling connection, having a community, authenticity, freedom, creativity

Embracing my values allowed me to see a path forward and start taking action in creating my future.

In 2021, I enrolled in a life coach training program. The program was such a gift. In the process of learning how to coach others, I was given the opportunity to experience coaching myself. With the continued support of my coaches, I have tapped into an even deeper awareness of who I am and what I am put here to share with others.

For me, it all comes back to knowing and trusting my authentic SELF. Not the version that society tells me to be, not my parents or my partner’s version. MY VERSION.

As I have centered in and started aligning my actions with my authentic SELF, I experience moments where I am in the flow. It has become easier to make decisions and take action. I have stopped going through the motions and started creating with intention.

Has it all been sunshine and roses? No. Definitely not.

Part of the process of claiming my SELF is learning to let go and that can be so hard. I’ve felt grief, loss, heartache and fear. Some days I feel like saying F it and just giving up. And that is ok. I’ve given myself permission to change and space to figure out what that looks like each day. Most importantly I give my SELF love.

The process of claiming my SELF is a journey. One that I will continue until the end. I am an evolving being who will keep learning, trying, failing and succeeding because why not?

What’s the best that can happen?